Mediation is often an effective conflict resolution strategy for divorce cases in which the spouses cannot reach an agreement on their own. If mediation is successful, you and your spouse can avoid having a judge decide important matters such as child custody and property division for you. That said, mediation is not effective for every divorcing couple.
Taking time to prepare with the following divorce mediation tips could help you improve the outcomes of this strategy.
Review the Key Issues in Your Divorce
You and your spouse may be in agreement on some issues in your divorce. Mediation is the time to discuss the key matters you cannot agree on, so it is important to start by reviewing these issues and gaining clarity about them.
For example, perhaps you are in disagreement about child custody. What matters, specifically, can you not reach a consensus on? Are you in conflict about physical custody, legal custody, or both? You may not know your spouse’s exact standpoint, but knowing where you stand and taking a few notes about your stance on the matter is an important element of mediation preparation.
Set Clear, Realistic Goals for the Session
Mediation is only successful when both spouses are willing to compromise and work toward a mutually agreeable solution. Entering a divorce mediation session with clear and realistic goals could make this process more effective, as you can avoid expecting an outcome that likely isn’t attainable.
You probably won’t be able to get your way on every matter in the divorce, so start by thinking about your highest priorities. Maybe you want to keep the family home, or for your child to spend weekdays with you. You might be willing to compromise on other matters to pursue this high-priority goal.
Perhaps your goals are broader, such as finding an arrangement that prioritizes your child’s best interests. Setting these goals up front will help you center all of your decisions and compromises around them.
Consider What Your Spouse’s Goals Might Be
You and your spouse may not have been able to work out your differences on your own, but mediation may help you better understand your spouse’s perspective and realize that your goals are not as conflicting as you initially thought. Another valuable divorce mediation tip is to take the time to consider what your spouse actually wants from the divorce.
This could be as simple as wanting to feel heard and like their opinions have value. Or it could be as concrete as wanting to protect the business they have spent years building.
Understanding what your spouse wants can help reduce tension, which may make it easier to reach an agreement. It can also show you potential bargaining chips; you may be able to concede on certain issues that are important to them to protect those that are important to you.
Choose an Experienced Divorce Mediator
One final tip to help you prepare for mediation is to choose the right attorney mediator. Working with an experienced divorce mediator who has excellent communication and listening skills can help you and your spouse both feel heard and understood throughout this important process.
If your divorce involves certain complex circumstances, such as narcissism or high-value assets, a mediator who has experience with these matters can also be helpful.
Ready To Schedule Your First Mediation Session?
These divorce mediation tips can help you enter your mediation session with a level head and a focus on your goals. At Holcomb Law, P.C., we are experienced attorney mediators who can guide you through Virginia divorce mediation with professionalism and unbiased support. Request a consultation today by calling 1-800-MEDIATE.
